“Peter said unto him, Lord, why cannot I follow thee now? I will lay down my life for thy sake. 38 Jesus answered him, Wilt thou lay down thy life for my sake? Verily, verily, I say unto thee, The cock shall not crow, till thou hast denied me thrice.” (John 13:37-38)
I can’t help but wonder what Peter was thinking here. Like those back in Matthew 7, He must have believed that Jesus was talking about taking a journey. Perhaps a treacherous journey. No matter what it was Peter wanted to assist Him; even if it meant his death, he was willing to go. He understood the care that Jesus had for them, and He did not want them to get hurt. Peter pleads with Jesus I can handle it, don’t leave me behind.
Peter had a sincere desire to die for Christ. He backed that up in the garden. “Then Simon Peter having a sword drew it, and smote the high priest’s servant, and cut off his right ear. The servant’s name was Malchus.” (John 18:10)
The last successful revolt Israel had was that against the Greeks by the Maccabees. There was a priest named Mattathias the Hasmonean, who had five sons. The Greeks came to their town to force them to worship false gods. They stood in defiance of them. Finally, one older man started to bow down, and Mattathias grabbed a sword from a soldier and killed him. This action started the revolt that defeated the Greeks in Israel.
Even though Jesus was telling them, he would die and not set up a kingdom now. The dominant understanding was that Christ would establish an earthly kingdom, and Peter was convinced that Jesus was the Christ. So, I wonder if he thought this was his Mattathias moment, and the revolt would start.
Peter did not have the faith to die for Christ now; this was proven at the house where he denied knowing Jesus. “And Simon Peter stood and warmed himself. They said therefore unto him, Art not thou also one of his disciples? He denied it, and said, I am not. One of the servants of the high priest, being his kinsman whose ear Peter cut off, saith, Did not I see thee in the garden with him? Peter then denied again: and immediately the cock crew.” (John 18:25-27)
Why was Peter not ready to die? He did not have faith enough in Christ to die; He didn’t understand Christ’s purpose. He was still self-reliant instead of Jesus dependent; His fear led to denial; His devotion was based on emotion.
There would come a time for Peter to die when his devotion was based on faith in the risen Christ. “Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.” (John 21:18). How did Peter finish his course? With no fear of death, trusting in Jesus, on a cross, killed on the orders of Nero.
Will you die for me? We might eagerly say, “yes, Lord, I will die for you,” but then we also fail to speak for him, to claim him as our friend, we fail to obey him, we fail to follow him. The littlest of things stop us from being effective servants of Christ.
A long time ago, I heard a story about a Russian Christian who was imprisoned for his faith. After spending some time in prison one day, they came to his cell-bound his hands and took him to the place they used for execution by firing squad. They put a blindfold on his head as he stood there, he readied himself to die for Christ. He waited some time, and nothing happened he called out, and no one answered him. After some time, he took the blindfold off; there was no one there. He was free to go. Years later, he said, “at that moment I was ready to die for Christ, but since that day I have found the hardest thing to do is live for Christ.